Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize