We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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