yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
