Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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