East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
