Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
