butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
