I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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