Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
