Barsexuality is the new black.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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