It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
