Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize