How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Your dad touched me again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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