So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
