I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
