East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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