sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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