my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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