I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
