I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize