its not stalking. its research.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
