all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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