why didn't you poke me back
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize