You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize