here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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