Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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