i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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