Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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