I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
