community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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