You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
