i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
