you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
