Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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