i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
