I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
