Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
