dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
