Where are you?
In a non slutty way
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize