So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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