how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
