There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
