I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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