i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
