You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
