is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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