Me too!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
