remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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