I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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