told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
