I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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