Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
one might say we're banned from that church
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
