All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize