is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
