I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
