I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
