does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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