Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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