Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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