we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
