I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
