You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Holy shit dude........stairs
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