apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
