dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
