the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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