just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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