it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
